Valentines, Smalentines.

I have never been into Valentines day. I was never a kid who got the box of valentines day cards to give to my classmates. I can remember my mom buying me a box of Treasure Troll Valentine's Day cards, and I kept them all for myself. I didn't like that it isolated people from each other. Designed to make the couples feel good about being a couple and the single folks wish they had someone. "Ef Valentines day!" when you were alone and celebrating it as one of the best day of the year when you had someone.
White bears with red hearts that collect dust and look odd on any other day of the year. Too much pink. Too much red. Too much peer pressure. People felt obligated to be lovey dovey. Couples clashed on the significance of the day. Another reason to fight.

I'm not one to knock any true celebration of love. I LOVE love. I especially love when it's free and unexpected. This day always felt slightly mean-spirited to me and too commercial. I think everyone, single or not, should pick a random day every other week to celebrate love. If this sounds like too much for you, you probably are suffering from one of two things. Either the people in your life are not very lovable or you aren't. Real love isn't a chore.

That being said, Husband and I did the Valentine thing for the second time since we have been together and we are entering our 12th year together. The first time was our very first Valentine's day together. I don't know. It was strange to me. I just don't think that's "us". Maybe we will do the V-day thing once every decade. ;-)

The moral of the story: admire and appreciate love every day and be lovable.

(I know this video of the devil women doesn't really fit. I just have the song stuck in my head. Singing: Why don't you love me?)

Introspection is key

Like the title suggests, introspection is an important part of human life. It's key to our survival. I don't mean that in the literal sense, but people are loosing everything because of an inability to be introspective. They're loosing jobs because they don't have the ability to evaluate their own performance and they're loosing their families because they lack the ability to apologize and rectify when things go wrong. 

There are too many people tho sit in church, or watch daytime talk shows and think "I wish So-and-so was hearing this." I know I am guilty of this. It's very hard to listen to a life lesson and use it as a litmus strip in our own lives. Before we try to psychoanalyze someone else, we need to evaluate ourselves. This is important because too many times we are the pots calling the kettles black.

Sure that other person still may need to be helped, but if you look at yourself first, you can now be empathetic and understanding towards that other person.

People who are always looking at what needs to be fixed in other people are usually very miserable people. It's hard to love them. I know I don't want to make it hard for people to love me. How about you?

Think of it this way: Imagine you need to lose weight and you hired a personal trainer, lets call him Lloyd. So Lloyd shows up to train you and he's overweight. Not only is he overweight, but he doesn't know he's overweight. He says things like, "I have the key to successful weight-loss" or "Look at the definition in my abs."
Why isn't he taking his own advice?
Why would you listen to him?
You'd fake a hamstring injury and never call Lloyd back.

Gandhi said it best when he said "Be the change you wish to see in the world." He was right on so many levels.

I am grateful

A few days ago, I decided to take a nap with my son (he just turned 10 months today!) Well, he decided that he was no longer sleepy. I tried to trick him into going to sleep by pretending that I was asleep. I got a pleasant surprise.

While I laid there with my eyes closed he grabbed my face and gave me 3 kisses and 2 hugs. Then he sang to me and rubbed my head. I was filled with so much joy that I grabbed him, hugged, kissed and tickled him.

I LOVE those moments.

Marriage!

Why do people have an aversion towards marriage?

Specifically, why are Christian people developing an aversion towards marriage?

I've heard (Christian) people say:

"marriage is overrated"

"I don't need a piece of paper to make my love valid."

"Why get married when more than half of all marriages end in divorce?"

"I've never seen a happy married couple."

"Why would I want to restrict myself with marriage?"

As a married Christian, I actually feel insulted when I hear people refer to something I cherish as some sort of foul object. They say that marriage is overrated.

Well, who rated it?

Marriage is more than a piece of paper and if you don't believe that then you don't deserve the gift of marriage.

As Christians, we have to realize that life and the morals that govern our lives are not up to us to decide. We have a road map. The Bible is not just summer reading. If the Bible values and praises marriage, how can you be disdainful towards it?

Whether you go to church regularly or not, the New Testament is the foundation for Christianity. And while some ideas and passages are up for debate and left open to interpretation, the rules of marriage are not. In the Old Testament, there are even chapters dedicated to praising the value of having a good wife. Have you forgotten that marriage has been important since Genesis (2:24)?

Marriage is more than a piece of paper. It's a covenant with God. There is joy and power in promising God that you will love, honor, respect, and cherish someone. There is such beauty in knowing that you have chosen the father or mother of your children, the grandfather/mother of your grand kids.

As a married woman, I wake up each morning thanking God that I have a Man of God on my team, even when I'm mad at him. I love knowing that no matter how bad my day is going, I can come home to someone who has promised God that he will be there to support me. I didn't promise a piece of paper. I didn't promise my momma. I didn't even promise my husband, because I didn't have to. I promised God that I will commit myself to this marriage. That covenant is stronger than any man-made promise. It's stronger than statistics. I don't care what the percentages are, why would I set myself up to fail?

If I am conscious of a statistic, why should I allow my life to validate it?

If other people made certain choices that lead to the destruction of their own marriage, does that mean that you have to go down that same road? Why not look at that statistic and say, "Knowing that happened to other people, I need to make sure I work hard to prevent it from happening to me."

Imagine this: You have a bright younger sibling who is about to graduate from High School. You ask them, "What college are you going to?" They reply, "I'm not going to college. I don't need a degree to prove that I'm smart. Plus, too many people flunk out of college."

Who is stopping you from having the marriage you desire?

A marriage rooted in the Word is one of God's best blessings.

Math

Whoever said that relationships are 50/50 need to be hit on the thigh with a sugar cane. They don't have to be hit hard, just hard enough to stain the memory and leave a welt.

If I'm giving 50% of the time what am I doing the other 50%? Taking? If I am giving for 50 and taking for the other 50, positive 50 plus negative 50 is still zero. If the other person is doing the same, zero plus zero is still, say it with me now, ZERO!

What if the other person takes more than they give? Doesn't that leave me with less than I started with?

I was sitting outside of Starbucks one beautiful day, sipping on green tea lemonade when a random man asked, "Whats one plus one?" "Excuse me," I said.

"Most people think one plus one is two, but in nature its actually three."

Well, I thought this man was crazy, but after I've thought about it, I realize that he may have a point.

Applied to relationships (from friendships to marriage), one plus one is three. Thats who I am alone, who you are alone, and who we are together.

Its not 50/50; its 100/100 because what you give should not be contingent on what you are receiving. If that were the case, we'd all come up short.