Introspection is key

Like the title suggests, introspection is an important part of human life. It's key to our survival. I don't mean that in the literal sense, but people are loosing everything because of an inability to be introspective. They're loosing jobs because they don't have the ability to evaluate their own performance and they're loosing their families because they lack the ability to apologize and rectify when things go wrong. 

There are too many people tho sit in church, or watch daytime talk shows and think "I wish So-and-so was hearing this." I know I am guilty of this. It's very hard to listen to a life lesson and use it as a litmus strip in our own lives. Before we try to psychoanalyze someone else, we need to evaluate ourselves. This is important because too many times we are the pots calling the kettles black.

Sure that other person still may need to be helped, but if you look at yourself first, you can now be empathetic and understanding towards that other person.

People who are always looking at what needs to be fixed in other people are usually very miserable people. It's hard to love them. I know I don't want to make it hard for people to love me. How about you?

Think of it this way: Imagine you need to lose weight and you hired a personal trainer, lets call him Lloyd. So Lloyd shows up to train you and he's overweight. Not only is he overweight, but he doesn't know he's overweight. He says things like, "I have the key to successful weight-loss" or "Look at the definition in my abs."
Why isn't he taking his own advice?
Why would you listen to him?
You'd fake a hamstring injury and never call Lloyd back.

Gandhi said it best when he said "Be the change you wish to see in the world." He was right on so many levels.

I F**ked Up

As a mom, I do my best to shield my kids from many of the ugly things in the world. I don't watch shows above a PG-13 rating while they are awake. I allowed my son to create his own playlist of children's/educational music.

I watch my mouth.

However, the other day, my son Biggie asked me to help him pass a level on his Wii video game. I took the remote from him and did what I thought was helping him through the level. Then he turns to me, looks me right in the eyes and in an even tone says, "Yaya, you're f**king up."

[insert long pause]

"I what?"
"You're f**king up."

Now for a split second, I thought to myself "Am I?"


Lets rewind.
Biggie has a photographic memory. He can remember exact details about a day if you show him a picture of it or ask him about it. He also remembers everything I say. A few weeks ago, my mother came over to help me clean the house and run errands (I was recovering from knee surgery). We went outside to go to her car when a man who was dressed like a woman jumped out of his boyfriend's moving car spewing profanity. The boyfriend left the car in the street and went after his love only to be slapped and pushed and cursed at and hit with a purse. Needless to say, this caught Biggie's attention.

He can repeat the exact conversation ver-ba-tim. He told everyone in my family what happened. My grandfather got a kick out of it. I had to let him know that those were not nice words to use and we don't say things like that.

Back to the present day.
How he used it in the correct timing and context, I will never know. However, I explained to him that we don't say things like that to people we love and he apologized and gave me a big hug.

Sidenote: It was kind of funny. My grandma calls me twice a day just to tell me the same thing and laugh. I had to tell myself not to laugh when he said it.

As much as I try to be protective, I cannot shield my kids from the world. It's out there. I just have to be ready to use those moments beyond my control as teachable moments and pray that I'm raising some awesome individuals.